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Oh dear I wish I could sleep.

I'm quite tired now and could happily drop off, but it's now nearly 9 in the morning and I have work in about an hour and a half. Silly really.

I miss regular working hours, outside in the fields that makes me so tired I can fall asleep the minute I get in the door from work.

Don't get me wrong I can still sleep around the clock, it's just never at the correct time.

So instead I spent the night reading wonderful fanfiction and listened to Bell X1 (who I love with a passion undying) and the dawn chorus

Oh Baby It's Dark
All I seem to see is the darkness now.

I went to sleep this morning at 9am and woke this evening at 5pm. Seems a little strange perhaps but my body clock is so out of sync that I'm ready to cry. I need a job. Something to set a routine to my day. My little bits of interior design are all very well but they alone can't pay the bills and they certainly don't let  me sleep well at night. My main problem seems to be scenes floating around my head from the book I can't write.

I can't get my words down at all. So it just keeps pounding away in my brain. And my family is wrecking my head too but that's a rant no one wants to listen too


But it looks like I'll have to. I've been unemployed for 6 months and there's no sign of work here. So off I toddle to the UK. I have a trial in an eventing yard for a girl called Jodie who seems really really nice.

But I really love Ireland. It's really my home in every way and I really don't want to leave but leave I must. It makes me sad

Writer's Block: Past the expiration date
What's in your refrigerator right now?

 What's in my fridge? It's a really good question. Honestly I have no idea. But it's definitely not edible. How do I know this? Because I honestly have no idea what's in it. The reason that I have no idea what's in my fridge is not because I haven't looked in it.  It because once upon a time it was food but now its just mould. There is a pint of milk for the cats but that's it.

What miserable week
 "It cannot under any circumstances get worse then this"

These are thoughts that no one should ever think. Because the minute you do, things are going to get worse.

Here I am, 20, supposed to be having the time of my life, at 3 in the morning, after a decent Saturday night, sitting outside my mates house crying my little heart out to my best friend on the other side of the phone. Two very good friends have just run away leaving me in the middle of town with the biggest weirdo ever. So drunk that I am, I go to one of they're houses let myself in (put my hand through the letter box and put back the latch) and get my converse that I have been missing for three weeks and leave.

Finally I text him on Friday to say sorry. Then this massive row breaks out and I'm there going "Er...What just happened?"

This is where it gets complicated - My best friend is going out with my ex. Whose best friends with the guy whose house I "let myself in" to.
Anyway my best friend has been telling her boyfriend everything and he's been telling his best friend. Nice right?

(are you keeping up??)

Then today she went to get her tonsils out. And I left my phone at home. Anyway got my phone back and there is a text from my ex and her boyfriend giving out to me because she's so upset that I didn't text her saying good luck or anything.

So now I want to hit someone